By Izabela Gage Editorial Staff I have never been one to believe in second chances. Forgiving someone who hurt you is difficult to overcome. Regaining that trust isn’t a simple process either. I’ve never understood the act of letting go of the pain and allowing them to walk back into your life so easily. Like everyone else, I’ve been hurt by close friends, past significant others, and even family members. I’ve never really given second chances to anyone who wanted one. My mind was closed off to the idea of forgiving and forgetting. The anxiety of giving a second chance and being vulnerable again, just to end up in the same pain I had already experienced, was terrifying. I have grown to realize second chances aren’t always black and white. They are never guaranteed, but they can be earned. In my past experiences, I didn’t give second chances because no one worked hard enough to build trust again. People ended up giving up when they got bored of my nerves and anxiety. None of them had earned it or proved they wanted to fix their mistakes. They gave empty apologies to lift the guilt off of their shoulders, in hopes the words “I’m sorry” would easily heal the wound they made. The right person will work toward your forgiveness. They will prove they deserve your trust again if they truly want it. Apologizing and acknowledging mistakes is a simple but huge step toward rebuilding what the relationship used to be. Trying a friendship or relationship again means removing the aspects that made it fail in the first place. It means understanding the actions one made that hurt the relationship. It’s acknowledging the mistakes made and the pain caused - wanting to help heal the heart you broke. This is everyone’s first time living. No one makes the correct decision every time - it’s expected that we’ll mess up a time or two. We wouldn’t be human if we were perfect. Forgiving is a beautiful thing, and rebuilding a bridge that once was burned is healing. It might take a while, there’s no need to rush the process, but the right person will make it worthwhile. Change is necessary to regain trust. You can’t have the same variables and expect a different outcome. The bridge will be different the second time, but that means it’s improved. I now believe forgiving does not go hand and hand with forgetting. My brain holds onto the memory of the hurt because it altered my life in one way or another. However, I choose to forgive. I choose to let go of the anger, sadness, confusion, and pain. Without letting go, the weight of those feelings will break the rebuilt bridge effortlessly. The right people, who are willing to accept their mistakes and learn from them, are worth the second chance. Not everyone will take accountability for their actions and put in the effort to fix what they did. If you’re lucky enough to earn a second chance, don’t mess it up. Don’t destroy the rebuilt bridge, it’s worth more than the one that got burned. The third chance might never come around.