A tribute to Liam Payne: finding peace in the pain

By Alexandria Rose Staff Writer The tragic passing of Liam Payne was announced on the evening of Oct. 16. Though the true nature of his death is still to be determined and the investigation is ongoing, society has been quick to make assumptions. According to TMZ, Liam fell from his hotel balcony to his death while high on drugs. Roger Nores, a friend of Liam, said his passing was due to the neglect of the hotel staff, and their refusal to have a doctor treat him while on drugs, again according to TMZ. Nores also said that Liam was attempting to flee the hotel room when he fell to his death, after being carried to his room by hotel staffers. There have currently been three arrests in connection with his death. Personal images are being released almost daily. Thus far, images have been released of his body, his loved ones crying at his funeral, the casket, and other personal moments. These images will permanently be on the internet, something they will never get to escape. Updates continue to be released by authorities, amidst numerous false accusations and claims made against him following his tragic death. He is no longer here to defend himself or reveal the truth about what happened on the day of his passing. Those who saw him earlier in the day have debunked some of the false accusations being made. He was seen with supporters outside hours before his death, who denied his aggressive behavior. Among the most recent have been images of Liam being carried with only his face blurred. News reports on the outrage claim that blurring his face was enough. The hotel staff has been claiming that their cameras have been broken when authorities confirmed that the footage was erased. They have been attempting to cover up for their staff’s negligence that led to his untimely passing. It could have been prevented, and the assumptions made cannot be undone. His name will forever be linked to those misconceptions. The assumptions that he had relapsed from his addiction, succumbing to his suicidal ideation, and the hateful declarations since his passing have subsequently tainted his legacy. These online posts are permanent and harmful to Liam’s loved ones, and also send the damaging message that addiction and mental health are one’s identity and the change and work they do after getting sober is irrelevant. During an interview he had done in June 2021, The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett he opened up about his past, and his personal journey with the struggles of mental health and addiction. Liam was first subjected to the spotlight at the young age of 14 when he auditioned for the X-Factor. Losing the competition was life-altering and never the same for him again. He stated that people would scream out heinous proclamations. An instance that has stuck with him, at the time almost 13 years later, was when he was sitting at a restaurant about to take a bite of his burger when someone yelled, “X-Factor reject!” when he was only 15 years old. The whole place turned to look at him and he stated that it felt like they were saying, “Oh, you think you are special but you are still here.” He later auditioned again at 16 and was a part of the infamous band that had been created, One Direction. He considered them his brothers, and they remained a huge part of his life until his final days despite the falling outs they had over the years. Liam originally wasn’t going to audition the second time. Choosing not to audition could have led his life down a drastically different path. Being exposed to the industry is what created his addiction and ongoing factors were fueling it behind the scenes that led to the decline of his mental health, according to Liam. In the interview, he speaks out about his experience being in the band and how isolating it was. He felt trapped due to their management locking them in their hotel rooms with only a mini fridge stocked with alcohol. He also stated he felt that there was nothing left for him and that it was the only way to get the frustration out. Before discussing his schedule, he did not want to come across as if he was complaining. He acknowledged how fortunate he was during that time and truly is grateful for it. He spoke about his schedule while being in the band. “Car, hotel room, stage, sing, locked.” They didn’t have the freedom that everyone believed. From society’s perspective, it appeared that they had the perfect life. This fueled his addiction and resulted in his mental health declining. At the time he had done the interview, he said he was one-month sober. “Lonely hotel rooms, man,” his dad told him. It’s heartbreaking to listen back to him saying that as new details emerge. During the COVID-19 lockdown, his struggles were becoming more prevalent. It resembled the isolation he had felt in the past, he said. He said he reached out for help and didn’t always receive it. Having a strong support system is vital in recovery. He also went through prolonged periods of suffering in silence. He said he didn’t feel like the best version of himself and was putting in the work and effort to heal old wounds so as not to hurt others further. He was trying to find healthier ways of coping so he didn’t relapse and fall back into his previous toxic and unhealthy patterns. After releasing his single “Strip That Down,” Liam stated he was going to retire from the industry after “surviving once.” He said he returned because the music was “speaking to him and it felt right.” He spoke about how addiction impacts those close to you and how instrumental it is to recovery to have a support system. He was very open about how hard it is to hide, suffer alone, and isolate. He said he isn’t telling anyone what to do but this is what he did and what worked for him. When asked to reflect on if there was ever a pivotal moment that was his lowest, he stated he had a few of them. “I was worried how far my rock bottom was going to be. Where is rock bottom for me? And I’m very good at hiding it. No one would have ever seen it. I don’t even know if I have hit it yet. I could either make that choice now and pick my last moment as my rock bottom or I could make a new one and make a whole new low. That’s my choice.” When asked about the link between money and happiness, he stated, “There isn’t one. It’s a myth.” Money and success will not buy you happiness, it will only buy you comfort. It won’t heal the inner deep-rooted wounds or make you feel better. He stated that he would often push through his lunch breaks and his basic survival instincts. He also added that he didn’t know what made him happy anymore. “I have found a couple of things that I think I am interested in but the thing is once you start making money on these scales, it only becomes the drive that interests you if it is going to push you forward.” Drawing was one of the biggest things that helped him. He judged it internally, feeling it was childlike and questioning why he should bother, but eventually acknowledged that it came full circle. He said the best thing he did was wake up at 4 a.m. to go for a run and stop to watch the sunrise. It helped him stay grounded, be present, and be grateful for another day. It wasn’t spiritual for him. He felt grateful for another day to be alive and he was the only one in the park to witness it. Liam felt at peace. He said it was some of the best times of his life. He said he needed to stop or it was going to kill him, even if it meant others hating him for it. Throughout his career and up until his final days, he gave back to those less fortunate than he was. He publicly spoke on his social media about the hardships families were facing for medical procedures that would be free in his country, in England. He mentioned how he finished off every donation he came across. Liam dedicated his life to spreading kindness, wanting to help others, and to make everyone smile and happy. It didn’t matter if it came at his own expense. He was always trying to raise awareness. Liam always took the time for those who supported him. Those who have met him have spoken of only having positive experiences - I can confirm this after meeting him years ago. In many ways, Liam was set up for failure and the industry failed him. A petition has been created in Liam’s honor by his supporters who witnessed everything first-hand, titled Liam’s Law. It is meant to protect the well-being of young stars entering the industry. Thousands of supporters have gotten tattoos in his honor and shared “signs” they believe are messages from Liam, assuring them that he is finally at peace, with the most common being his famous four arrows tattoo in the sky. Liam was not his addiction or his struggles, in life or death. Please keep in mind that even though he is no longer here, his loved ones are. He may not be able to see what you say, but they can. His soul will eternally live on in the millions of lives he changed for the better. That is his legacy. One heart, one dream, one direction. Rest in Peace, Liam 1993-2024 If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or addiction, there is help and there are resources. You are not alone and you deserve to be here. You are seen. You are valued. You are important. Drug Abuse and Addiction Hotline: 844-289-0879 Suicide and Crisis Prevention Hotline: 988 Petition for Liam’s Law to protect the mental health of individuals in the entertainment industry: https://www.change.org/p/enact-legislation-to-safeguard-artists-mental-health-in-the-entertainment-industry