Doors of doom

By Leighah Beausoleil, Asst. News Editor

By Evan Lee, News Editor

Haven’t you people ever heard of Brendon Urie’s advice?

“… closing the G****** door …”

No?

If you have spent any amount of time at the tables outside the Snack Bar in the McCarthy Center, those wise words may resonate with you.

Each day, students gather at these seats to get some homework done, eat food, or just converse. 

But with every attempt to relax comes an unending frustration. For if it is even barely cold – if there is any slight movement in the air – excruciating despair will ensue.   

The building itself is partially to blame. With two tall walls leading to its entrance outside – a natural wind tunnel is mimicked. And in the middle of this tunnel lies: the doors – not the band. 

But like the band sang, anytime anyone tries to “break on through to the other side” of these doors, the wind will generously flow to hold them open – who said chivalry was dead? 

Noble as that may be, it’s just as noble to close a door afterward – a part of chivalry that’s lost upon these ghastly gusts. 

Because all the while the wind holds these doors open, dreadful drafts are whipping students in the face, blowing their papers away, and fueling rage. 

Empty cups are strewn about and students shiver under a cold breeze as they try to remain focused. 

Any effort to keep up a good hair day outside these doors is simply a lost cause.

Yet, the departed walks on – not a care in the world of the chaos they’ve left behind.

For those poor souls left in their wake, there is no solace. These doors will not close on their own. 

It is not until a hero arises among them. Selfless students who sacrifice their own relaxation to shut these dreaded doors – not once, but multiple times. 

We thank these heroes for their line of duty. 

But it should not just be them. Have some decency and be the hero yourself.

And close the G****** door.