The Couch Boys rank the couches of Framingham State

(Editor’s Note: “The Couch Boys” started out as a humble series of film reviews. Over the course of this academic year, it has grown into Framingham State’s leading source for couch-related information.)

By Brennan Atkins &

Noah Barnes

The Sacred Sofa (Towers Fourth Floor Lounge)

Arguably one of the greatest innovations of all time, this couch has been specifically engineered for maximum comfort and style. Its Carolina blue contrasts extremely well with its hand-crafted wooden armrests, and is a treat to the eye. The pillows themselves feel like were plucked from the clouds of Asgard, and this is what Vikings must have dreamt of all those years back. This couch seems to be extremely underrated due to the size, but size isn’t the only thing that matters – it’s how you use it. By having a smaller couch, you can easily watch a movie on the same laptop, much like we did in our early days at FSU. This couch is a staple of who we are today, and should be the standard for couches around the nation – nay, the globe.

Grade: A+

Slim Shady (McCarthy Gameroom)

Passersby of this couch will take immediate notice of the platinum grey leather, and its overall sleek design. It may not be the beefiest of couches, but don’t let that fool you. The built-in pillows are quite comfortable and your lower back will thank you for sitting in such a couch. The couch’s best quality is its location. Just have a tough loss at pong? Have a good crying session on the couch. While there may not be any armrests to cry on, you can at least watch a movie to drown your sorrows. It’s quite a long couch, so large groups of friends are not a problem, unless you’re in the corner spot where things can get a bit tight. Overall, it has its flaws but it also has its perks. This couch could be seen as a metaphor for people in general, and the lesson is, we need to learn to accept one’s flaws and learn to love each other.

Grade: B

Ol’ Reliable

(Bench outside of Library)

This one really stumps us. Whenever we walk by the library, it always seems like the students of FSU are kicking it on this abomination of a couch – well, not us. For one, it simply isn’t comfortable compared to the other luxurious thrones around campus, it just isn’t. There is no lumbar support, and the couch is made out of some sort of wooden material rather than the conventional leather or fabric. Don’t even get us started on the armrests, oh wait, we couldn’t even if we wanted to because these armrests are nonexistent. Another big negative about this couch is you can’t even watch Adam Sandler’s very own “Click” from it. What’s the deal with that? There are no outlets in the area and no television in sight. Have fun watching people walking in and out of the library – what fun! While there isn’t much going for it in the comfort department, one aspect of the couch that some might find enjoyable is the look of it. It’s vintage, rustic, and it brings back memories from a simpler time. However, we will not sit in it because this is the future and we are not silly.

Grade: C+

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